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Tanch's First Ever (And Probably Last Ever) Met Gala Fashion Awards

So many crowns...

May 8, 2018

I don’t know a ton (anything) about the Met Gala.  From my ignorant perspective it’s a “look at how many millions of dollars worth of crap someone slapped on this 120 pound dress” party. 

One theme that’s popping up a lot as I scroll through photos is crowns.  So many celebs wearing crowns.  Is there a reason for this? Rhetorical question.  I don’t really care.  I’m just disappointed I wasn’t invited because I would OWN the dude-in-a-crown thing.  I’ve never worn a crown but I look dope in hats so yeah, same thing.  King Tanch has a nice ring to it.  Bow to me, peasants.

Let’s have some fun with these rich S.O.B.’s.  Time for Tanch’s First Ever (and probably last ever) Met Gala Fashion Awards. 

The I’m Wearing A 3rd Grade Science Project On My Head Award goes to….. SZA!


The I’m Wearing A Diaper Cuz I’ll Never Get This Thing Off In Time Award goes to… Solange!


The Dos Equis Most Interesting Man In The World In Training Award goes to… Nick Jonas!

Tradition. #MetGala2018

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The I Never Knew Capri Sun Wrappers Would Make Good Sport Jackets Award goes to… Migos!

L O V E! Me and the brothers @kingcombs @quavohuncho @offsetyrn @yrntakeoff #metgala

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And last but not least…

The I Really Hope The Catholic Church Doesn’t Put A Hit Out On Me Award goes to… Rihanna!

caught by @dennisleupold

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Congrats to all our winners!